I got to talk to my cousin, Natalie this weekend. We grew up together. We had a path through the woods that led to each others house. She was really my best friend. We were just a school year apart in age. She has two children. Her daughter just left home and has started her freshman year of college. Her son is sixteen. She asked me how I was and could hear the exhaustion in my voice. I told her that some days I feel like God is looking down on me giggling and saying, "you asked and you have received!" And that is right. All I ever wanted was a baby that knew I was his or her mommy. I wanted a baby that would stop crying because it knew my voice and my smell. I wanted a baby that would grin from ear to ear and start kicking its legs because he was so excited to see me, because I am his mommy.
I have been blessed with four of these babies.
I was sharing with her some of my frustrations.
And they were mainly things like not being able to get everything done in the house. Or looking like a fool in public because Landon will not mind. Yelling too much at Landon because I can't get through to him. Listening to Sawyer cry because he wants to be held, but I can't because I have to keep a very active two year old from running down the driveway and jumping in the creek! Learning how to balance everything with four children. Giving Laurel and Savannah the attention they need with school events and homework.
She gave me the best advice.
"Lori, your children will not remember if your house is clean. They will remember if you played with them. Their childhood goes by in 5 minutes and you can never get it back!"
I know that raising these sweet children is the most important work I will ever do. And I don't want to look back and have any, or many regrets.
Here's to a new week.
Trying to find balance.
Having a new attitude.
